May 30, 2023
by Stephen T. Messenger
There are so many people who help us in our leadership journeys. Often, it’s the people with whom we surround ourselves that truly make the difference, even as they transition in and out of our lives. If you surround yourself with excellence, you’ll become more excellent.
Memorial Day Remembrance
Yesterday was Memorial Day, the unofficial kickoff to summer and a time where most open their pools, start vacations, and enjoy the warmer weather. In all the activity of grilling and family time, it’s sometimes easy to forget the real meaning of the holiday.
Over 20 years ago at the U.S. Capitol, a group of schoolkids were asked the meaning of Memorial Day. They responded, “It’s the day the pool opens.” This incident spurred Congress in 2000 to pass the National Moment of Remembrance at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day, a period of silence to reflect on the great sacrifice of our service members.
President Calvin Coolidge understood the importance of remembering those who had gone before us 80 years earlier. He stated, “the nation which forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten.” We must always remember those who helped us get where we are today.
Our Nation has been surrounding ourselves with excellence through our military for 247 years. To that, we are all grateful.
Our Personal Remembrance
There are a number of people in my history that have shaped how I am today. Many have subsequently transitioned out my life, but they created an indelible imprint on the way I think and behave.
There are those that have:
- shaped my faith and made it stronger to deal with the challenges of life
- helped me think strategically to envision a desired future and bring it about
- mentored me in command positions
- taught me to lead boldly and courageously, moving forward in the face of fear
- developed my parenting style evolving from raising toddlers to teenagers
- coached me coach youth sports
- guided me in a number of different disciplines
Think of how many times someone has come to you with advice, guidance, or mentorship to help you improve. They may no longer be around you, but they still shape the way you do things.
Over 20 years ago, a wonderful older woman at a church my wife worked at taught her how to “properly” load a dishwasher—“properly” at least according to her. We still load the dishes in this particular, and efficient, way today.
For me, I spent every Thursday afternoon for a year with a former Brigade Commander crafting the perfect situational report (SITREP) to higher. It was a tedious process, yet today I write my SITREPs to my higher command using the same techniques.
I’m sure there are people from my past who do things certain ways because of how I did them, and the same is said for all of you.
Back to Today
Our present is shaped by those in our past. On this Memorial Day Weekend, I am so grateful for those that have gone before us. Over 1.2 million service members have given their lives so that we may live. And hundreds of people have poured into your and my lives so that we may be a better version of ourselves.
It’s humbling to live in a place where sacrificing time, money, resources, and sometimes lives is celebrated. Freedom is not free. Neither is developing a culture of excellence.
Thank you for being mentored and mentoring—and remembering those who have helped you on your journey.
Most of all on this Memorial Day, thank you to the service members and Gold Star Families who have paid the ultimate price so we could live in freedom.
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