August 8, 2023
by Stephen T. Messenger
This week, I celebrated my birthday. Now, I’m not a big birthday guy at home—in fact, it comes and goes with little fanfare—but I strongly believe birthdays provide leaders a tremendous opportunity in the workplace to recognize their people. Many fail to take advantage of this.
Why Acknowledge a Birthday at Work?
Let’s admit, it’s nice to come to work and have someone know it’s your birthday. Even for those that enjoy staying under the radar, to have a coworker or supervisor come up and unexpectedly remember your special day is heartwarming.
Why? Because it shows you care. It reminds them that they’re thought of as more than a machine at the factory, and it lets them know that you’re tracking what’s going on in their life.
Thinking beyond work is a core tenant of leadership that people often miss. We get so wrapped up in our relentless requirements that we often miss celebrating the wins, praising our people, or stopping to acknowledge a birthday. You can fix this by answering yes to these two simple questions:
Do You Know Your Employees’ Birthday?
As G.I. Joe from the 90’s would remind us: “Knowing is half the battle.” Knowing every person’s birthday may seem daunting at first but keeping a spreadsheet (or using a free app) is the first step.
Depending on the number of people in your organization, this could be really easy, really hard, or somewhere in between. Keep a simple tracker with everyone’s name, phone number, email, where they work, and what their job is. Maintain this spreadsheet as people come in and out of your organization. Once you have the info, it’s time to get to work.
Do You Contact Them on Their Birthday?
How you perform this step depends on the level of familiarity you have with your people. If you’re in charge of a small team of eight, you’ll probably do this differently than if you’re a CEO with thousands of employees.
In my world, I have hundreds of amazing people working for me spread physically far across a military installation. I rarely see many of them, but I know they’re out there doing great work thanks to their supervisors. I have another core group of 20 that directly report to me, and we interact multiple times per week. Finally, I have six people with whom I share an office wing most of the day.
I celebrate with these groups a little differently.
To the Hundreds
Every day I have a calendar appointment to check the spreadsheet and call people on their birthdays. In addition, on Fridays, I cover any celebrations over the weekend.
I give them a ring, ask them what they’re doing to celebrate, and thank them for their contribution to the organization. It‘s my chance to connect with each employee at least once a year and keeps me in touch with those I wouldn’t see otherwise.
Honestly, I’m probably a little below a 50% success rate on someone picking up the phone. If there’s no answer, I hang up and send an email asking what the highlight was and thanking them for their work.
The feedback on this has been tremendous. It’s unexpected and surprising to most.
To the Tens
To those that are direct reports to me and those a level below, I go and see personally. I pay an office call to say all the same things as the other group, but also give a “Birthday Compliment”— a face-to-face recognition of specific characteristics they have exemplified throughout the year because I’m more familiar with their daily contributions.
It’s important to look people in the eye and highlight the positive attributes of their efforts for the organization.
To Those Closest
Finally, to the group that I spend most of the day with, we go out to celebrate. This usually consists of taking the birthday person out to lunch and each person going around the table to highlight the great things the birthday person did this year.
It’s a chance to build our small team and solidify relationships.
While Nothing Special, It’s a Big Deal
Nothing above is challenging or earth shattering, but it’s a game changer!
A phone call, an office visit, a conversation, or a lunch makes a difference in someone’s life. You don’t have to do it the same way I outlined above. That is just one way. Yet however you do it, acknowledging someone’s birthday will change your relationship.
Disclaimer: I miss… a lot. Sometimes my dates are wrong. Sometimes people aren’t on the spreadsheet, they think I may call, and I don’t. Sometimes I get distracted by other emergencies; but the effort is noticed.
It matters that you know people come first in any organization. Take the time to research birthdays, create moments, acknowledge and thank, and build bonds and teams.
Extra Credit
The “Birthday Compliment” is a game changer in your family – read here to try it!
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