July 23, 2024
by Stephen T. Messenger
You don’t know how many times I’ve heard the phrase, “Don’t shoot the Messenger.” To be fair, it’s an easy quip. Because of our last name, my family has been on the receiving end of this gaffe hundreds of times—in fact, my son was even typecast as a courier in his 6th grade King Arthur play.
But not shooting the messenger is actually a critical leadership skill. So often people come to us with bad news, and we have to be conscious not to blame the one who carries the message. We must be resilient in the face of bad news.
What we can’t do is swing the emotional pendulum. Everyone who works for us should know what our response will be when they deliver good or bad news. We must be consistent in our actions.
We’ve all seen it. Unstable leaders struggle with receiving bad news, and their emotions are all over the place. Receiving bad news is an art; be consistent, especially in times of stress.
The Danger of Overreacting
The phrase “don’t shoot the messenger” can be traced back to the play “Lives” by Plutarch 2,000 years ago. In this play, a messenger arrived to provide word to his leader, Tigranes, that the enemy was advancing against their kingdom.
As the play goes, “The first messenger, that gave notice of Lucullus’ coming was so far from pleasing Tigranes that, he had his head cut off for his pains, and no man dared to bring further information. Without any intelligence at all, Tigranes sat while the war was already blazing around him, giving ear only to those who flattered him.”
If he kept his emotions in check, Tigranes would have encouraged his people to continue delivering him critical information. Instead, they were scared. I’ve seen this in units where I’ve worked, and no one wanted to tell the boss bad news, so they didn’t.
In another famous example, we travel to Mongolia: Genghis Khan once
sent a number of gifts to the Shah of Khwarazm with the hope to spur future trade opportunities. When the first regional governor of Khwarazm met the envoy, he imprisoned them and stole their offerings.
Khan heard about the incident and took it up with the Shah. He sent three messengers asking for their goods back and that the governor be disciplined for his wrongdoing. The Shah, instead of shooting the messengers, beheaded one and sent the other two shaved and on their way home. A presumably rational leader in charge of a kingdom completely swung the pendulum towards recklessness.
Khan, not to be outdone emotionally, was so angry he invaded the land of Khwarazm leading to one of the bloodiest wars of Khan. Rational leaders sometimes think and act irrationally. It’s so important that we don’t behave in a way where others are afraid, we’ll quickly act in a way that organizationally harms the group or individually rips someone’s head off.
Emotions Cause Us to Swing
In a 2019 Harvard Business School study, researchers tested to see if bad or good news influences how we think of others. In one study, a participant was given a 50/50 chance of winning two dollars through a random drawing. A second person, the messenger, delivered the results to the person, notifying them of their “massive” winnings, or lack thereof.
Finally, the participants were asked to rate their level of like or dislike of the person delivering the news. They were also clearly told that the messenger had no correlation to the outcome. Even so, those that won liked the messenger a significant amount more than those that lost.
In a second study, the researchers simulated boarding an airline flight. The flight attendant announced either the flight would board on time or there would be a two-hour delay. Much like the first experiment, they rated the flight attendant as either liked or disliked. Even though the flight attendant didn’t cause the delay, their level of likeability was directly linked to their message.
This behavioral science shows that we’re likely to channel negative emotions towards those that give us bad news and positive emotions to those providing good news. Our challenge is to again, as in the last article, dampen the sine wave of emotions and process information the same, whether good or bad.
Thank You
Most of us process good news well. We usually respond with acknowledgment, thankfulness, and appreciation. However, the best leaders receive bad news the same way they receive good news.
1. Acknowledgement. Receive the information in silence and let the messenger get out all their information. Once complete, ask any follow-ups and confirm what we’ve heard. As a reminder, initial reports are often wrong, and we most likely won’t have complete information. Regardless, make sure the messenger knows you’ve received the message in full.
2. Thankfulness. This one sounds strange, but bad news will always come, and we should be thankful people are helping us understand it. Even bad news is helpful. In Tigranes’ case, receiving the message may have saved his land. The Shah of Khwarazm could have avoided a bloody war by punishing his reactive governor. And the men and women sitting at the airport needed to know the plane was delayed instead of living in ignorance. Be thankful for the message.
3. Appreciation. Finally, no one wants to deliver bad news. The one providing the information is simply trying to help. It’s important the messenger knows their job is important, and it’s imperative they go back to the origin and let them know it was received well. If not, we risk the same fate as Tigranes where the city burned while he only received positive reports.
The Message and the Messenger Are Important
Our people should not be afraid to deliver bad news to us. If they are, the risk is that they will decide not to deliver it in the first place. We must always keep our emotions in check and be resilient in the face of difficulty.
When the messenger arrives with bad news, we approach it with acknowledgement, thankfulness, and appreciation the same way every time. Then we figure out how to deal with the problem.
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