January 18, 2024
by Tom Console
Last year I was invited to the wedding of one of my many cousins, held at the historic and picturesque Free Library of Philadelphia. The venue was amazing, the food was delicious, and the guests radiated with the buzz of energy and excitement for the ceremony. But perhaps the most underrated part of the wedding was the display of the reception seating chart.
Running with the library theme, the couple had taken books and covered them in an outer paper cover with the name of each guest and the table they were assigned to along the spine, then randomly arranged them in a bookshelf near the reception area. I was intrigued to unveil the title of my book beneath the cover, wondering if they handed me a classic adventure story or perhaps a book about my love of football.
But there was no title on the cover, and the pages were all blank. During the ceremony, our bridal hosts revealed the mystery. They explained that the books were intentionally empty as a reminder that we are the author of our story, and that we should fill our chapters however we see fit.
I want to take this brilliant idea a step further. Not only do we write the story of our life, but we as leaders are also the main character of that story, designed to build teams and achieve success.
But how do you write yourself as the main character? The main character strives for worthwhile goals, is realistic, and remains steadfast in achieving them. They believe their goals to be part of a worthy cause (see this previous post), and make no mistake, the main character’s goals will be constantly put to the test.
Strive for Worthwhile Goals
Ideally, a leader’s goal is in concert with the goals of the team they lead. The main character looks out for the good of the organization and others. They are heroes not to benefit themselves, but those around them.
For example, a doctor who wants to write their own story hears rumblings of a more effective medication. They assemble a team, conduct research, seek out the medicine, and bring that knowledge back to their practice. The doctor and the staff can now treat their patients better. This is a goal of great importance not to someone’s bank account, but to the quality of life of many others.
A worthy cause is unique to each leader. The main character strives for the better good, and the best ones have goals of significance.
Be Realistic
A leader’s goals in life must be measurable and achievable. Working out at the gym is a perfect example of how to set measurable, achievable goals. The deadlift bar does not care if you are unrealistic and think you can pick up 225 pounds without the requisite strength, a proper warm-up, or good technique. If you have not put in the work, don’t expect success.
Instead, start with a lighter weight that you can lift for a realistic number of sets and reps equivalent to your skill level. Push yourself and gradually increase that weight over time. The aspiring powerlifter does not see rippling muscles after a few trips to the gym.
Growth is only evident after enough time of consistent training has elapsed. If you do it right, eventually you’ll reach your goal. The main character understands that life is a journey and will not stop until their ultimate goal is realized.
Be Steadfast
Leaders should be relentless in the pursuit of their goals. They believe that no matter what obstacles or challenges stand in their way, and there will be many, they will be able to improvise, adapt, and overcome. As leaders our mettle is always being put to the test. Whatever you do, do not give up without a fight! During a setback, try stepping away from the issue and looking at it with a larger scope.
Are you studying the right way? Could you tweak your training to be better? You must be stubborn in your goals but flexible in how you achieve them. And if you fail, then try again. The main character knows that the path they are on is the right path and that no matter what stands in the way eventually they are going to win.
It is important to keep in mind that the main character always has companions who are integral parts of the story. Sometimes two characters meet and their stories become one, as in the case of this wedding. Ask for help if you need it. Do not think yourself above and disregard others. A chain is only as strong as the weakest link, so ensure that all of the links in your chain are well taken care of.
The Story to Be Written
After the wedding, I put my blank book in my bookcase in a spot where I see it every day, reminding me to be the main character in the story of my life. I want write the story of the character that seeks out goals larger then myself, sets and accomplishes realistic goals, and overcomes all obstacles.
Our pages are waiting to be written.
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