February 20, 2024
by Stephen T. Messenger
At a recent assignment, every afternoon I would walk out of the building to my car and immediately be faced with a dilemma. There was usually no one around the empty parking lot, and by far the quickest way out was through the way I entered: a short, eighty-foot, one-way access road to the main highway. The only problem was the sign, which clearly stated this was not the exit.
The legal way out was by taking a right, then a left, then weaving through some barriers, and finally making an awkward left turn onto a busy intersection. It took about ninety seconds longer, added a traffic light, and, one could argue, was less safe—but it was the legal way to exit.
It was extremely tempting to go the easier and, some might say, safer way (see how I can justify it?). We all have these micro-dilemmas every day of our lives, having to ask ourselves: “Should I do the right thing?” The answer should always be yes.
The Belt of Propriety
The final leadership principle in the BRAG+1 framework is the belt representing good moral standards. A belt is designed to hold your pants up because it’s necessary to look professional. To put it more formally, it’s representative of always maintaining a proper legal and ethical posture.
I once heard an old phrase from a senior military officer that the downfall of any man can be attributed to one or more of the three G’s: Greed, Gold, and Girls. While this was a statement geared specifically towards men, it’s indicative of the constant temptation to lust after position and power, monetary gain, or improper relationships.
It’s crucial, therefore, that we keep our belt on to withstand these three siren songs.
To Be Above Reproach
Leaders cannot have a hint, a sniff, or a whiff of impropriety about them. I talk about leadership a lot in my job, specifically how we must act above reproach. In the Q&A sessions, a common question I’ve been asked is: “what keeps you up at night?”
After reflecting on my life—starting a leadership website, regularly speaking in front of groups about leadership, and being an example to my wife and kids—the answer is easy.
I would be crushed if someone said this about me: “You know, Steve talks a great game. He’s always saying things about being a better leader, but if you really watch him, you’ll see that his actions don’t match his words. He tells us to go and fulfill our maximum standard, but he doesn’t. He speaks about leading others but doesn’t try hard himself. And most of all, he talks about avoiding impropriety, but he’s cutting corners and doing some questionable stuff.”
Hearing that would kill me. You and I cannot afford to have followers even think we may be doing something illegal or immoral. The problem is there are so many inappropriate temptations out there such as falsifying a travel voucher for a few extra bucks, manipulating data to make your organization sound better than it is, cheating on a test to get a few points higher, or going the wrong way down a one-way exit because it saves sixty seconds.
None of these are going to make a big difference in the long run. But it’s not about money, recognition, scores, or time; it’s about credibility as a leader. As everyone watches what you do, they will emulate your example and follow your lead. When in charge, you set the pace: physically, mentally, psychologically, and ethically.
Living Out Your Values
There are three ways to live out your value system:
- Reflect Positive Values Every Day. When in a leadership position, all eyes are upon that person. Followers know what vehicle the boss drives, their schedule, and their habits – they see a lot more than one can imagine. Leaders must be above reproach in their public and private lives.
- Publicize Your Core Values. When leaders clearly state their moral standards in public settings, they have no choice but to live them out. This is a way to both hold themselves accountable and set the bar high for their organization to emulate good behavior.
- Hold Others Accountable. When confronted with a lapse in judgement, leaders must identify ethical missteps, address the problem, and take corrective action. Coaching ethical propriety is important to maintaining the moral high ground of any organization.
Be aware of these tripwires when dealing with organizational propriety:
- Don’t: Pretend Leaders Are Faultless. Every leader makes mistakes. No one is perfect, and leaders will have lapses in judgement. When a leader identifies something wrong in their own life, they must take public action to correct it and bring their shortcomings to life.
- Don’t: Believe Individual Values Match the Organization. In a utopian world, every member of the team is sold out on organizational values. This is simply not true. People grow up with different values, and leaders must be aware that people may not be fully on board.
- Don’t: Give Up on Communicating the Narrative. Ruthlessly promote the narrative of being above reproach in the organization. Followers need to hear a continuous message from their leaders of ethical standards, moral propriety, and legal standards. Be relentless.
Take the High Road
At that last assignment, I would always drive the long way out of the parking lot. Occasionally I’d see a car or two exit illegally and beat me out. Admittedly, I was frustrated that I was doing the right thing while others were not. Then I‘d wonder where else in their life they were cutting corners and was glad I took the right path.
By always wearing the belt, leaders do their best to avoid a hint, a sniff, or a whiff of impropriety. This is a high calling, not for the faint of heart, and one worth investing your time and effort to improve and maintain.
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Boots: Put Boots on the Ground (1 of 5)
Regimentals: Place Service over Self (2 of 5)
Armor: Be Resilient to Life’s Attacks (3 of 5)
Gun: Close with and Destroy the Enemy (4 of 5)
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