May 14, 2024
by Stephen T. Messenger
We are the main character in our own play. Which is why it’s so easy to get wrapped up in our ego and focus solely on ourselves.
I say this with a lot of scar tissue. The first half of my Army career I didn’t fully realize that leadership was more about the organization and less about myself. Sure, I cared about my people and wanted the best for them, but in the back of my mind, sad to say, it was always about me.
I constantly cared what others thought of me, how they perceived my leadership, and how I could impress those around me.
It was always about “my” unit, “my” successes, “my” awards, or “my” opportunities.
It wasn’t until ten years into my career my mindset shifted when I met our new Brigade Commander who just assumed his position. In our first meeting, someone said, “Sir, your brigade…,” and the boss immediately stopped him.
“Our brigade,” he gently corrected, and for the next 12 months, I heard him make this correction all the time. It was never his—it was ours.
He understood that leadership is not about one person—it’s about us. This man was exceptional at pushing praise down to subordinates and taking the blame when things went wrong. He knew that a leader’s job was to promote those who work for them and recognize “our” achievements and collective gains—never his own.
His seemingly innocuous correction from “mine” to “ours” has carried with me for years. As a garrison commander almost two years in the seat, I still correct people who tell me it’s my organization. It is never mine; it’s ours.
The General Who Thought It Was about Him
Horatio Gates was a leading contender for Commander-in-Chief of the American forces in the Revolutionary War. He showed great battlefield success as a major general in the 1776 campaign as commander of the Northern Army and defeated British forces when they invaded northern New York.
In Saratoga, Gates again scored a victory defeating British Major General John Burgoyne twice in September and October 1777. Burgoyne surrendered almost 6,000 soldiers, and this victory convinced France to form an alliance with the Americans.
Yet in victory is where it fell apart for Gates. He struggled to see that the war was less about him and more about the revolution. As commander, he believed was his victory to claim, and so Gates did taking overt credit. However, it was really the efforts of his subordinate leaders Benedict Arnold, Benjamin Lincoln, and Daniel Morgan which secured the victory.
Immediately following, Gates made a (purposeful?) violation of precedence and military decorum by reporting his victory directly to Congress instead of the formal way of notifying his Commander-in-Chief, George Washington. He wanted credit and eventual command of all American forces.
Tensions continued when Gates failed to quickly return troops to Washington after Sarasota to help with Washington’s campaign. He was then caught up in an incident where correspondence between Gates and his people was leaked slandering George Washington and his leadership.
Gates tried to cover his tracks while vying for the lead job, but his support to become the head general eventually fizzled out. Unfortunately, it only faded after much emotional capital and infighting that should have been focused on the war effort.
Eventually, Gates took “his” command into battle at Camden, South Carolina in 1780 and led soldiers into one of the largest defeats of the war. He made a number of military blunders such as moving the army at night, over aggressive deployment, straying too far from supply lines, and overestimating his enemy.
After the British decisively broke the American forces, Gates abandoned his army during the retreat riding 180 miles north ahead of his men and was accused of cowardice by Alexander Hamilton. In his report to the President of the Continental Congress, he had an opportunity to take responsibility, but instead wrote, “But if being unfortunate is solely a Reason sufficient for removing me from Command…”
Gates could not even take the blame in defeat. He placed his own name above his organization. He failed to understand that it was less about him and more about the cause.
Push the Praise, Take the Blame
Horatio Gates failed to recognize his people who won the victories and take the blame when things went wrong. When in charge, that’s our job! It’s the difference between caring about others and caring about ourselves.
Too many leaders stake their claim on personal success and climbing the ladder, often neglecting collective goals in the process. Horatio Gates was more interested in leading the army than winning the war. This entire philosophy of “us first” must be flipped to winning as a group and helping others climb their own ladder.
Stephen Covey summarized this point noting that many people are “climbing the ladder of success only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall.” Our ladder shouldn’t be leaning against the wall of our promotion, recognition, or performance, but against the walls of everyone who works for us.
Two simple ways to do this are by recognizing others and taking the blame.
First, when things go right, we have to recognize those who did the hard work. Sure, we had a role to play, but all that is on the backburner. Every praise, accolade, recognition, or highlight that comes our way has to be pushed down to people who work for us.
If we ever see ourselves accepting credit on behalf of our team, we’re probably wrong. Highlight those to our leaders at every opportunity. Include our people on emails, bring them out in public, and praise them constantly in front of others.
Second, we must take the blame when things go wrong. This is the famous “The buck stops here” quote from President Harry Truman. Regardless of where the mistake was made, we have to own it each and every time, even when decisions are made without us knowing.
It is our job to protect our people from outside blame. Take the hit, absorb it, let it pass, then correct whatever problem we’re facing in private. When in charge, everything the organization does or fails to do is on us. Without fail, we must protect our people and get better internally.
Our Position Doesn’t Matter
Leadership positions come with all sorts of perks, the most dangerous being power. When in charge people love to come at us with “your” team, command, or company. The reality is that everyone in the organization is part of “our” group. We all have ownership. It’s imperative we guard the narrative that it’s about all of us and not one person.
My former commander from the story above used to say that about military assignments: In one role you’re a commander with ultimate authority in the big office and all decision-making power, and the next you’re a deployed staff officer in a tent working off a laptop on a card table with your old gym bag thrown under it.”
He was right. Our positions will change, but our mindsets must always be that it’s always about the team and not ourselves. To do so, the best way is to recognize our people early and often, and absorb the blame from outside influences when things go wrong. That is how we put others above ourselves.
This series is part of our BRAG+1 Leadership Philosophy. If you you’re just joining us, start from the beginning on 16 January: A Team to BRAG about and continue from there:
Boots: Put Boots on the Ground
Regimentals: Place Service over Self
Armor: Be Resilient to Life’s Attacks
Gun: Close with and Destroy the Enemy
+1 (Belt): Not a Hint, Sniff, nor Whiff of Impropriety
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