August 22, 2024
by Tom Console
Undoubtedly, life will be filled with both mountains and valleys. One minute you feel on top of the world, and the next you feel as if that same world is crumbling beneath you. No matter who you are, you will have moments of both great triumph and defeat. In most instances, there will be variables outside of your control that affect the result.
One key separator between inexperienced leaders and great leaders is the attitude with which they face events in their lives. Great leaders learn how to maximize the variables within their control and have an appropriate response to both wins and losses.
Control What We Can Control
Some people see life as a math problem with no variables. Fixed numbers result in a fixed outcome.
2 + 2 = 4
But we all know our math problem of life has so many variables we cannot control. It’s more advanced algebra than second grade math.
(2x)2 + y2 + 22xy = 4x + y2 + 4xy
An inexperienced leader will not make the distinction between a fixed and variable problem. They will try to control everything and everyone around them, trying to fix numbers, resulting in inefficiencies with their energy and resources. A better leader identifies what is and what is not under their control and leverages those things they can control.
In a 2022 playoff game against the Bills that went into overtime, Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes wore a device that tracked his heart rate with the data shared on social media by his personal trainer. It showed that throughout the duration of the game, Mahomes’ heart rate spiked while he was on the sidelines watching his defense (which had allowed the Bills to score and send the game to overtime by giving up fifteen points in the fourth quarter).
However, his heart rate was shown to be at its lowest when he was in the huddle, right before he snapped the ball. When later asked about why this was, Mahomes said “…when the defense is on the field, I’m a fan just like everybody else… but I can’t control everything. When you’re on the field…you get to put your input on the game.”
This is really important for leaders to understand. You would think a quarterback’s heart rate would be at its highest right before he snaps the balls and is rushed by enormous, bloodthirsty NFL defenders looking to take his head off, especially in overtime during a win or go home playoff game. But this is when Patrick Mahomes is at his most calm.
He is able to stay even-keeled right before a play because he knows that he has mastered both the physical aspects of the game (the mechanics of throwing a football and precision placement of the ball for his receivers) and also the mental aspects of the game.
Without a doubt he spent countless hours watching film on the Bills defense, probably more than he did practicing his own plays. Mahomes meticulously studied and understood the defensive fronts, blitzes, line twists, and coverages the Bills would throw at him as well as pre-snap adjustments and audibles based on whatever defensive look he was shown.
He memorized and interpreted the variable formations the Bills would show him. Through this, he maximized the control he had over the different looks that he could directly influence, giving his team the best production when they needed it most.
The Response
Every situation has an outcome. Some are favorable, some are unfavorable, and some are neutral. Even if we maximize our influence on the things under our control, we can get any one of these results.
Often what is most important is not what happens but how we react to that thing, good or bad. An immature leader allows an emotional response to take control over them. By doing so, they let their feelings dominate, instead of being the master of themself.
Some give themselves all the praise when things are going well and blame everyone else when things go wrong. The best version of us instead accepts both the wins and losses in life as opportunities to grow while not allowing emotions to ovecome us.
Without a doubt, life will find a way to sweep the rug out from under us. Let me give a personal example from my own life.
In May, I graduated Veterinary school and promoted to Captain in the U.S. Army. This was the realization of two dreams that I have spent quite literally my entire life working towards.
I was very proud of myself and extremely excited to finally start my career as an Army Veterinarian, where I was to start a year of training at Fort Moore, Georgia (quite a road trip from my hometown of Philadelphia). With a new career and a new title in a new part of the country, life had granted me a major victory.
Less than a month after graduation and three days after moving into my new house in Georgia, I was diagnosed with diabetes. This was quite a shock for me, and it came out of nowhere as a young, active, and generally healthy person.
As it turns out, members of the military diagnosed with diabetes must go before medical personnel and be deemed fit to continue duty. If they are deemed unfit, they are medically discharged. So, I am currently confronted with my military career ending before it really even began. To add to it, all of this is happening hundreds of miles away from all friends and family. Life had handed me a major defeat.
A trait I think is vital in a leader is their reaction to different situations. They should not get too high or too low, and especially avoid becoming some cold, emotionless brick of a person. The absence of emotion is not the same as control over emotion.
I know we’re supposed to celebrate our wins. I certainly celebrated my graduation and promotion. But we are not the greatest thing since sliced bread. Our ego needs to be kept in check, thanks given to those who helped us along the way, and lessons and good habits from our recent victory need to be carried over.
Conversely, a hardship is only bad if we allow it to be. When I got my diagnosis in the emergency room, I was certainly depressed. When I learned that I could be facing a discharge, I absolutely felt a lot of anxiety. But the best of us work to understand our emotions, deal with them, and move on to face the next challenge. Everyone does this in their own way, and asking for help is always encouraged. A defeat can be just as educational, and perhaps more so, as any victory.
Responding Well in the Highs or Lows
Our lives certainly aren’t 2 + 2 = 4. I cannot control the fact that I have diabetes. But what I can control are those things that can help manage diabetes. I already had a pretty healthy diet and a good exercise regimen, and I’ve used this diagnosis as an excuse to improve both.
I cannot control whether the Army will deem me fit to continue duty or medically discharge me. But what I can control is my cooperation towards that process and coming up with multiple backup plans so that I can be prepared for whatever decision is handed down.
As leaders we will all face victories and defeats, constants and variables. How these problems impact us and our teams is based on our ability to maximize those things that are under our control and our response in the good times and the bad.
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