September 24, 2024
by Stephen T. Messenger
Twenty-one years ago, I made a poor lapse in judgment, and someone directly and immediately confronted me with what I did wrong. I have not forgotten it to this day.
Holding others accountable is an important skill for leaders. When we see others make a lapse in judgment, it’s not the end of the world. We must identify that ethical mistake, address the problem, and take corrective action. Ethical propriety is critical to keeping an organization above reproach and maintaining high moral standards. Let me tell you my story.
A Lapse in Judgment
I was a young lieutenant in the 82d Airborne Division. Back then, my motto wasn’t to avoid having a hint, sniff, or whiff of impropriety about me. I was a little looser back then. I had recently transferred from an all-male infantry battalion to a mixed-gender logistics unit.
We were out doing physical training in a large group, and I made an inappropriate gesture to someone across the field. In my former unit, this was commonplace, but I quickly learned it was not here.
A senior officer came seemingly out of nowhere and let me know this wasn’t appropriate. When I say he confronted me, I say that in the most militaristic, drill sergeant way possible. He confronted me publicly and at maximum volume.
He also invited me (ordered) to run some stairs to make amends for my misgivings. After a few flights up and down along with some counseling on why my actions were inappropriate around women (and men), I certainly learned my lesson.
Two decades later, I have never come close to making the same error and understand the importance of confronting ethical impropriety immediately. I’m thankful to this man for correcting my mistake. We must do the same.
The Fallen Military King
People in power or perceived power sometimes make ethical lapses and expect to get away with them. If they avoid punishment with the small things, often they escalate into bigger indiscretions. That’s why we need leaders who address moral failures at the beginning.
King David was not only the Biblical King of Israel but also what we would call the Commander-in Chief and leader of the army.
At one point in his reign, he chose to stay home when he should have been out in front of his military during the fighting season—a moral failure in itself. Wandering the castle rooftops, he saw the beautiful Bathsheba catching some rays outside her home.
His initial ethical failure of not fighting with his men led to a terrible domino effect of gawking at a married woman, summoning Bathsheba to his home for an affair, impregnating her, recalling her army husband home from the front lines to trick him into thinking he knocked up his wife, ordering his death, and marrying Bathsheba. Whew! Now that’s a hint of impropriety!
But after, someone had the guts to confront him. A prophet Nathan was told by God to set the king straight. In a scathing rebuke of Biblical proportion, Nathan reared back, and I imagine him pointing at the king when he admonished him for his indiscretions. I see him yelling at David, “Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in His eyes?”
To the King’s credit, he took full responsibility. He acknowledged his wrongdoing and made amends the best he could. At the end of the story, David is seen back at the head of his army, attacking the town of Rabbah and others. He learned from Nathan’s rebuke and was known as a man after God’s own heart, even after this moral collapse.
All of us need to be corrected from time to time.
The Bathsheba Syndrome
Dean Ludwig and Clinton Longenecker (1993) wrote an article on the Bathsheba Syndrome stated as the ethical failure of successful leaders. They argue that seasoned leaders are poorly equipped to deal with success which causes them to commit moral infractions, much like David. The four reasons they do this are:
1. Success convinces people to stop focusing on their job, and they become distracted by other temptations.
2. Success allows access to information, people, or things that others don’t have.
3. Success lets leaders do whatever they want, whenever they want, with whatever they want.
4. Success clouds a leader’s belief that they can control any outcome themselves.
I argue this applies to anyone. Success, or even apathy, leads to good, hard-working people doing the wrong thing and acting with perceived impunity. I know I did in the story above. Which is why we need a coalition of the willing ready to confront others in times of personal lapse.
Nathan was that person. My senior officer was that person. And we need to be that person when we see it. Now, this is a hard task. I’ll admit just last month I saw someone smoking closer than 50 feet next to a building, standing by a sign that explicitly stated the same. This failure weighs on my heart as I write this article.
But there have been many more times I’ve confronted the wrongdoing right in front of me. Whether we’re are in a position of authority or not, the first step is to ask someone, “Are you open for some feedback?” Very few people will say no.
This simple question allows us to speak into their life with permission. Be professional. Be courteous. Be direct. Be brief.
They will either accept our feedback or not. If so, we’ve made an impression just like was made on me decades ago. If not, we now get to decide if we’re in a position of influence to correct the wrong or let it go. That’s a call on the ground. But we all must be out there looking for the moral lapses and confronting the failures.
Step Up to the Challenge
Confronting ethical failures is not easy, but it’s imperative. We must hold others accountable when they are failing. They must hold us accountable when we fail—and we will. Without a dedicated support system, we have young people like me offending others inadvertently, kings like David committing adultery and murder, and good people committing small ethical breeches that need to be corrected before they get worse.
Next time we see a moral or ethical lapse in judgment, it is our calling to bring it to their attention and prevent it from getting any bigger.
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This series is part of our BRAG+1 Leadership Philosophy. If you’re just joining us, start from the beginning on 16 January: A Team to BRAG about and continue from there:
Boots: Put Boots on the Ground
Regimentals: Place Service over Self
Armor: Be Resilient to Life’s Attacks
Gun: Close with and Destroy the Enemy
+1 (Belt): Not a Hint, Sniff, nor Whiff of Impropriety
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