March 18, 2025
by Stephen T. Messenger
I’m currently in charge of a small team of incredibly talented individuals. They are hardworking, competent, professional, and very successful in their work. Yet at the same time, we’re undergoing massive organizational change, injecting varying degrees of stress into our environment.
Especially amidst uncertainty, it’s so important that we focus on the health of our people. When psychological safety decreases, communication must increase. The 4-H Leadership Model discusses a way to help teams grow and prosper by focusing not only on productivity, but also on the human aspect of leading others.
Manfred Kets de Vries’ 4-H Leadership Model
Every group of people has its own personality and group dynamics. The best teams are those that are highly successful while having fun. Both positive performance and interpersonal relations are needed to create exceptional cultures. When you combine these two factors together, there’s little a team won’t accomplish. In contrast, when you have a team that’s performing but just going through the motions, or one that has a great culture but is not successful nor accomplishing stated objectives, the group rarely is living their best lives. That’s what we all seek: professional success while enjoying what we do at work and home.
The goal is to take a bunch of successful people and help them realize that the great work they’re doing is important and fun. Manfred Kets de Vries, a renowned professor of leadership, speaks to this point, arguing it’s not enough to simply be successful but to also thrive in our places of work.
He grew up in the Netherlands during World War II, and his early research looked at the darker side of leadership because of his exposure to German aggression. From this, he understood the importance of avoiding autocratic leadership styles, solely driving mission goals. Instead, leaders must take active steps to ensure their people are successful and want to come to work each day. In his 4-H Model, he outlines the four characteristics leaders should demonstrate to encourage hard work, fun, and growth.
Humor. Everyone loves to laugh at work. It’s important to create an environment where people can walk into a room and enjoy each other’s company. Tell a joke. Talk about a funny thing that happened at home. Smile. Laugh at something you did wrong. People spend eight or more hours at work every day. It’s okay to have fun.
Taking it a step further. Rebecca Hinds found that people don’t want to have shallow fun at work; they want to have deep fun. Shallow fun is a Foosball table in the break room. Deep fun is working hard on projects and ideas that stretch the imagination on important things while making a difference. Another way is to have surprises during the workday like unexpected trips or work adventures. If we want our people to enjoy work, we inject fun.
I always try to have a semi-humorous story at work every day for shallow fun. But I also try to challenge a group with a thought project to start off every meeting like who their favorite military theorist is and why. Shallow and deep fun take constant work but are important to build humor and enjoyment into daily activities.
Humility. No one likes a boss who knows it all and speaks at us. Instead, we like to be heard and understood. The second “H” is about listening to respond. So many times I’ve waited for my turn to speak without actually listening to the conversation or caring in what direction it was going. I was going to get my already pre-planned comments into the discussion no matter what. Instead, we should listen to the other person and respond to the last sentence—people feel valued and important when others thoughtfully listen.
Michal Lehmann and his research team found listening well increases perceived levels of humility to all parties in a conversation. They believe two types of humility increase workplace culture. First, interpersonal humility is observable behaviors like complimenting others, receiving feedback well, and supporting people’s needs. Second, intrapersonal humility is knowing our strengths and weaknesses and remembering that we are fallible leaders. Our teams need us to be humble.
Still new to my place of work, I learn something new every day. I try to have a mindset where I understand others know way more than me, and my job is to learn and improve every day. I focus hard on listening and being humble in my growth. This is not an easy skill, and I fail often.
Humanity. The third “H” relates to how we treat others. Empathy and compassion are two qualities that everyone desires in their boss. When we truly care about those around us, they sense it and increase a feeling of belonging to the group. Empathy is being aware of and sensitive to the emotions of others around us. Compassion is being sympathetic to the stress of others and wanting to help.
Udi Dorner speaks on humanity where we all have problems from our personal lives that we subconsciously bring to work. We must demonstrate a balance of performance and empathy where we create a culture where life is more important than work, but we also have to get stuff done. Dorner found people feel humanized when leaders are sensitive to employee emotions, set realistic goals, encourage communication, and actively listen.
We all have life happening around us. In times of uncertainty, it’s important to treat people going through hard times as humans. For example, I have never denied a request for leave for any reason. I always say that if you want to take a day off, don’t ask me. Just tell me when.
Hope. The last component in the 4-H Leadership Model is providing optimistic leadership. Hope is the active process of expecting positive results with confidence. We all need a confident leader. No one wants to follow someone who has already conceded defeat and believes their actions are fruitless. Instead, we need inspiring leaders who will help us believe that the impossible is possible.
In the book “Raising a Modern Day Knight” by Robert Lewis, he argues one quality every young leader should have is “expecting the greater reward.” This is the belief that good things are around the corner and the hard work we’re doing today will bear fruit. We all need leaders who are going to push us to achieve more than we thought we could. Leaders arouse hope in others that they will be successful in their task.
It’s hard to be optimistic in the low points. But I try to constantly project realistic positivity; realistic being the key word. Too optimistic and we come off as dreamers. I’ve found that confidently laying out plans and directions, even when unsure if they will work, goes a long way in building the confidence of others.
Performance and Care
Leaders influence others to make things happen. This comes with a careful combination of driving performance while taking care of people. By using the 4-H Model of humor, humility, humanity, and hope, we can help our people achieve more while feeling great about the work they’re doing. Ultimately, the goal is success at work achieved by people who love coming in every day. Even in hard times, the best of us need quality, caring leaders to inspire us.
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