May 6, 2025
by Stephen T. Messenger
We all occasionally find ourselves at the precipice of big life decisions. When we stand in those moments, we ask ourselves which door we want to take and what will happen in the future. The problem is that we can’t see beyond any door we’re about to open. All we can do is make the best choice we can. In those moments, I believe the wisest course is to bet on ourselves.
Right now, I am wrestling with several significant life decisions. These are not small matters like choosing a fitness plan or deciding on a large purchase. These are life-altering decisions with the potential to affect my future, finances, family, and freedom.
There are countless branches that the future can hold, and I honestly do not know which path is best. What I do know is that action is better than inaction.
To Be or Not to Be
This iconic soliloquy comes from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet in Act 3, Scene 1. Here, the young prince is mourning the death of his father, the former king, when the ghost of his father appears. Hamlet is then confronted with a decision of enormous consequence. Should he avenge his father by killing his uncle, Claudius, who now sits on the throne?
Hamlet is plagued by indecision. Was the ghost real? Did Claudius truly murder his father? If so, should Hamlet kill him? What would be the consequences? What if Claudius was allowed to live?
Caught in this emotional storm, Hamlet even considers ending his own life. In the words “to be or not to be,” he questions whether it is nobler to suffer life’s hardships or to escape them altogether. This is not just about vengeance. Shakespeare is urging all of us to consider whether to endure the slings and arrows of life or to metaphorically abandon the fight.
Hamlet, like many of us, did not have the answers. He stood paralyzed at the threshold of a monumental decision.
To Invade or Not to Invade
Centuries later, another leader would face a decision with a kingdom in the balance. General Dwight D. Eisenhower had to decide whether to launch the D-Day invasion in 1944 during World War II. As the Supreme Allied Commander, it was his decision alone whether to launch 166,000 troops across the English Channel onto the beaches of Normandy.
The weather was far from ideal. Poor conditions threatened to undermine the invasion before it began. A failed attempt would have led to catastrophic loss of life, crushed morale, and could have prolonged or lost the war.
Eisenhower could not predict the outcome and made the call to invade. In his struggle, he even penned a letter taking full responsibility, stating, “If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt, it is mine alone.”
History knows what followed. The invasion was successful and marked the beginning of the end of Nazi occupation. But at that moment, the weight of the decision rested solely on his shoulders. He chose to act and placed his trust in his people.
To Charge or Not to Charge
But it does not always work out. Robert E. Lee stood before a monumental decision after two days of intense fighting at Gettysburg. He was facing significant pressure to deliver a decisive victory as the Confederacy was running low on resources, and a win could have changed the war entirely.
Lee, like Eisenhower, fully trusted his army and decided to launch a massive attack against the center of the Union line on Cemetery Ridge. Pickett’s Charge then began, with General George Pickett leading 12,500 soldiers across open fields and into heavy artillery and rifle fire.
Unlike D-Day, this decision was a disaster, with nearly half of the Confederate forces were killed, wounded, or captured. Moreover, this day marked the beginning of the end for the Confederacy. Lee’s decision was equally weighty as Eisenhower’s, and he too chose to bet on his people, resulting in an outcome of irreversible consequence.
To Decide or Not to Decide
Choosing a life-altering decision is tough. I write about it not because I have all the answers but because I too am walking through those uncertain moments, and you will do the same. When it feels like there is no path forward, we need a structured approach to guide us.
- Clarify Our Goals and Values. We need to understand where we want to be in five, ten, or twenty years and which option aligns with that vision. Moreover, we must know our value system and what is truly important, whether it be career, family, finances, freedom, security, or something else.
- Identify the Consequences. Consider the short- and long-term benefits and impacts of the decision. Also, look at the risks and rewards of each choice on both yourself and others. Understanding both the worst- and best-case scenarios often helps us realize impacts of our choices.
- Gather Information and Consult Others. Research and trusted advisors are critical, and someone has been in a similar situation. Talk to them, gather more information, and become more informed about the decision. Most importantly, seek diverse perspectives.
- Use Decision-Making Frameworks. Some helpful tools include a pro and con list to assess tangible aspects of each choice, the 10-10-10 Rule that considers how we will feel about the decision in ten days, ten months, and ten years, and a decision matrix to weigh factors based on importance. Pay attention to both the logical and emotional reasoning and strive to balance them. Don’t rush the decision-making process if you don’t have to.
- Accept Uncertainty. No matter which door we choose, we will not know the outcome until we walk through it. Even then, it may remain unclear. No perfect decision exists. Make a decision and then make the next choice when it comes time.
Bet on Ourselves
We all face difficult choices. Hopefully, they will not involve avenging a father’s death, launching a seaborne invasion, or leading an open field charge. But the stakes in our own lives can feel just as high.
The good news is that we are not without tools. We have a wealth of knowledge, experience, support systems, and intuition. No decision guarantees success, but we have what it takes to act with courage, clarity, and conviction.
In the end, it is not certainty we need to act, but courage. And the courage to bet on ourselves may be the wisest decision of all.
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